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Some of us enjoy really bad movies. So much so that we seek them out. We do it because it verifies why some movies are great, but more often than not, we do it for the humour and all the unintentionally ridiculous moments they provide. This week was an ode to this under-appreciated sub-genre of Comedy.
First up was Untraceable. Better than expected (not the bottom of the barrel). Solid premise. Decent performances. Even the technical jargon was tolerable. But its hypocrisy… an effective method of eroding any kind of goodwill. And the final scene… arresting the Internet… arresting the audience… It works and insults on so many levels it numbs the mind.
The highlight of this trio was Undefeatable. Internet Infamous for the ‘Best fight scene of all time‘, it is a masterpiece. For example, Undefeatable isn’t even a real word. The best part? The fight scene is only a small portion of its genius. And it’s chock full of ‘Asians‘.
Finally we have In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, a Uwe Boll masterpiece. Yes it is loosely based on the game Dungeon Siege. Yes it has really respectable actors in it like Ron Perlman, Ray Liotta, Burt Reynolds, Jason Statham (you better believe it) … It could have actually been good. Instead we get a nice looking film (inexplicably good cinematography is common with other Boll KG productions) with NO dungeon sieging!
Okay I kid. It was just really really boring. The script was fairly true to the game’s storyline – boring, confusing and uninspired. And the editing didn’t help one bit. But I guess when you have the same editors that were responsible for House of the Dead and Bloodrayne, two of Boll’s other classics, you can’t expect much.
So games and films fail to translate once again. But there’s hope… perhaps you’ve heard that Gore Verbinski is slated to direct Bioshock?! Will it finally occur after all these years? Hmmm …